Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
