is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
