Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
