Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
