What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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