I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
