I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
