So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
