so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
