I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
