Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
