i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
