i wish peter jackson would direct porn
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
