I hate your face
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
