69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
