I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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