he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
