Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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