I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
