on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
