Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
