just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
