That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
