After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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