He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
