I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
