carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
