3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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