i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
