we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
