i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
