Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
