It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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