Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
