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Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
