hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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