Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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