I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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