If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
