Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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