By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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