Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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