The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
