what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
