i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
