There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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