i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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