We won't sleep together?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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