If that was your dad, he is hot
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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