dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
